RPGs, Time, and an Unsolvable Problem

 This morning on Facebook, I saw it was the birthday of a friend who I haven't seen since I was in high school. I thought about the fact that I'd recently seen that he'd gotten married (and by recently, I mean at least a year and a half ago, because I remember it being at least a few months before the plague.) My brain reacted to me thinking of him being married with that's not right. 

And it got me thinking about how we see time when it comes to people we don't interact with very often.

For people we don't interact with, we expect time to remain stationary/we don't expect their lives to progress.

We know that this isn't the case, but it's a phenomenon that I've had multiple people mention to me. They (we) are surprised when a cousin who they have only seen at family gatherings is grown up, or when they find that major life events have

Teamwork and "My Guy"ism

"Brave Team" by DiegooCunha
For more by this artist, see:
http://diegoocunha.deviantart.com/

My writer friend Kit Bradley was the one who first drew my attention to what he called "my guy" ism. This was a tendency that some players have to say "well, my guy would do this/wouldn't do this/would act this way" in justification of roleplaying decisions that may be harmful to the enjoyment of the group as a whole.

This is, to some degree, one of those "do as I say and not as I do" sort of posts. I know I have a bad tendency towards this as a player, and it's something I try to work on in the times when I get to play anymore.

Not to be Confused with...

Before I go into this, I am not saying that roleplaying your character is bad. I'm very pro roleplaying. I'm even pro roleplaying characters who are selfish or deceptive or unintelligent or otherwise not 100% helpful to the interests of the player character group. I wrote a post recently even providing advice to players on how to roleplay effectively.

This is about when roleplaying goes too far and makes the game less enjoyable for other players. Sometimes, that's a hard line to distinguish. It's even harder given that some groups may be more in favor of certain things than others and that some games/campaigns have different norms. (For instance, if you're playing Paranoia, you can probably throw out pretty much everything in this post.)

A Dirge for Malego

When I was fairly new to the hobby, and younger and less mature than I am now, I created a character named Malego. Malego was a tiefling (read as: mostly human, part demon, for those who are unfamiliar) rogue. He was super depressed most of the time, and tended to not really like working with the team.

One of the first fights that he got into with the team, he ran off on his own rather than sticking or working with the team, and it led to his being captured and eventually killed.

I played three different characters in that campaign. I remember, in talking to one of my friends in that group, being surprised when they had said they hated Malego/hated when I was playing Malego. I was surprised since I really liked him. I thought he had a lot of personality and life to him. As it turns out, he really got on other people's nerves and they weren't all that sad about his short tenure with the group.

I remember when he died, the GM saying that it was an example of a character that was roleplayed well, but that didn't really fit with the group. I didn't really understand what he meant at the time.

Tabletop Games are a Group Activity

Different people might enjoy different things about tabletop RPGs. Some might like the mechanics and game aspect to it. Some might like getting to act and play a character unlike themselves. Some might like exploring a fantastic world. Some might like enjoying a group story. Some might even just be there as a social activity. Some might like exploring different philosophical ideas behind the guise of fiction in order to make themselves and others better. Most people play tabletop RPGs for some combination of these reasons and a few others. But, whatever the reason(s), people play because they get some form of enjoyment.

The way tabletop roleplaying games are set up, generally, is that you have a game master, and then you have players working together as a team. In the game, they work together to achieve objectives.

In real life, you have a group of people in a room wanting to enjoy themselves. This is what is actually happening, and to some degree the reality should take precedence over the fiction.

There is no guy. The "my guy" from "my guy would act this way" doesn't exist. The character shouldn't get preference over the real live people who are in the room with you.

When a Player acts their Character in Certain Ways, they can Reduce the Enjoyment of the other Players

There are a couple primary ways that I've seen this happen, and I've been guilty of most of them. It's probably something I still need to be aware of and work on as a player.

By no means is this a complete list:

Acting Without Group Consensus (Before/Without Discussions)

This one is pretty iffy. Sometimes, especially if your team is in a situation where fast thought and action is required, acting on your own without group consensus is necessary and/or good.

However, there are other situations in which progressing or acting on one's own reduces the agency of the rest of the group. When a player acts without group consensus, especially if their actions are such that they could affect the group as a whole, they're saying "I know best, I don't need to consult any of you."

they take away the ability for the rest of the group to have any discussion or decision making. Remember, tabletop RPGs are a group activity. If a player is making all the decisions or causing everything to happen on their own, they're cutting away everyone else's experiences. They're playing as though the game is a one playered game focused on them.

Being a Jerk to Other Player Characters (During Discussions)

A lot of times, the way that this happens is that a player/their character will either be dismissive or insulting of something another player/player character says. They treat the idea as stupid and/or not worth considering. Either the player or their character thinks they no better than their teammate and expresses it as contempt or superiority.

When this happens, a lot of times, players feel that they, rather than their character, have been directly insulted. It raises negative feelings, and more often than not makes that player feel that they can't contribute to group discussion/planning. This can lead to them closing up more and speaking up less in the future. It can also lead to frustrations that make them no longer like playing with that group.

A lot of times, players are already self-conscious. This behavior doesn't help.
Many of the people who Tabletop RPGs appeal to are by their nature introverts. Many of them have social anxieties, and being insulted or disregarded can aggravate these more in what should be a fun activity

Acting Against Group Consensus (After Discussions)

Sometimes, even after the group has made a decision, a player who opposed the decision will go off and do what they wanted to do anyway. This is extremely problematic and can make other players feel that they have been entirely disrespected. It cheapens the process of group discussion and can leave a taint on future group discussions and decisions with other players either giving in because the one player will do what they want anyway, or with them acting bitterly towards that player because of their actions previously. Either way, it has the potential to create a rift between the player/character acting against the group's decision and the other members of the group.

Respectful Group Discussions

In most/all of those examples, the problem comes from players feeling like they don't have agency/like they cannot contribute to the decision making process.

Some people might look at the "acting against group consensus" reasoning and claim that when the group decides against their idea, the group is reducing their agency. I'd claim that there's a difference, mostly that comes from consensus and respect between group members.

Everyone is not going to get their way all the time. However, by being receptive to others ideas, group conversation can explore different ideas and create a welcoming environment for players.

Discussion between group members should encourage everyone to participate and offer any ideas they might have. All ideas that are offered legitimately should be looked at respectfully. Even if there are obvious holes in the ideas, a player shouldn't be made to feel bad for not noticing the hole. The group should work to come to a consensus and move forward together, with people feeling like they've been heard even if their idea wasn't the one that was chosen.

"But I really want to play a selfish/manipulative/jerk character"

Okay, great. These can actually be a lot of fun to play. And they can be fun for your group as well. IF you don't direct your selfish/manipulative/jerk side against your teammates. They're your teammates after all. Stealing from them does you no good. Sharing the spoils of your thievery with them helps lift them and, in turn, you up higher than if you kept it for yourself. Manipulating them does you no good. Manipulating every other NPC to the benefit of the group is a good show of cleverness. Being a jerk to your teammates just makes them less likely to help you. Being a jerk to other people...well...it probably won't cause much good either, but it might cause entertaining results rather than making your friends mad at you.

In the end...

I know I said it already, but I want to reiterate.

I'm very pro realism in roleplaying games. However, I draw the line at making the experience worse for your group-mates.

Your character is not real. Your friends who are playing the game with you are. They should get priority.

Roleplaying Tips for Players

I think that something I take for granted, as a Game Master, possibly something we all take for granted, is the idea that those playing tabletop roleplaying games know how to roleplay. Frankly, this just isn't true for everyone who will be playing with us. Sometimes, it isn't even true of ourselves.


I remember when I started in the first campaign that I would play in for an extended period of time. Most GM's don't really talk about roleplaying with their players in advance. Mine was no different, even though none of us had really played anything before. It's a tactic that I, too, have adopted in running my own campaigns most of the time. I think it's because we, as GMs, don't really think about the fact that roleplaying isn't inherently intuitive. I know that as a roleplayer without guidance, I developed a lot of bad habits that I wasn't even aware were wrong until a few years later when I was told by the GM and one other player-after I'd already been doing these things time and time again.


I know that I've also had players who do things that are problematic, not out of maliciousness, but just without knowing to do anything better.


The point is that things aren't necessarily straightforward. Therefore, I decided to try to put together the best advice I could come up with based on what I've seen go right and what I've seen go wrong in games I've run and played in.


The following advice is things to do as well as things not to do. It isn't just about improving your roleplaying ability, but it is also about improving your ability to roleplay together with a group and enjoy a story that is fun for everyone.


None of these rules are absolute. If you're playing Paranoia, you can probably ignore most/all of them.

1. Know Your Character

Almost everything that follows comes from this core point. Know who your character is. Know how they think. What's important to them? What motivates them? What are they afraid of? Each of us are a made of a sum of beliefs, motivations, fears, personality quirks, etc. Know what those are for your character, and it will help you play them.


Think about how their personality relates to the abilities they have. If they know a lot about history, what is it about history that interests them? If they have a lot of sneaky backstab abilities, what does that imply about them? Your characters mechanics are a part of who your character is. The things your character chooses to learn or excel at are things that relate to who they are as a person.


A lot of time, knowledge of your character will develop as a game develops. The more your character faces, the better idea you'll have of who they are, what they want, and how they react to things.

2. Always ask Why

This second rule is probably the most important strategy to developing good roleplaying skills.


Most things you do in real life, you just do without thinking about it. However, if someone asks you why you did that thing, usually you can come up with some answer. It should be the same for your character. The things your character does and says should be things your character has a reason to do. As you get to know your character, before taking actions or talking in character, quickly ask yourself "why is my character doing/saying this?" If you can't answer that question, then it might be best to do something different.


The longer you play as a particular character, the better you'll understand how that character thinks, what motivates them, and how they act. Your asking why will be less deliberate as assuming the role of the character becomes more natural for you.

3. Don't Act on Information Your Character Doesn't Have

One of the hardest things in the world for players, including myself, is to not use meta knowledge. There is a tendency to see the game as...well...a game. Something that we're trying to win. We want our characters to be victorious, and often we favor using meta knowledge even if that isn't something our characters would know. Depending on how the game is focused, this may be okay. However, it isn't good roleplaying.


If you know something about a creature or situation because of some prior experience, it's bad roleplaying to have your character act based on that experience. It isn't necessarily experience your character has. Unless you've worked out with the GM a situation where you've faced that sort of creature or situation in your character's backstory, then your character should be forced to depend on knowledge rolls or trial and error to figure it out (no, you shouldn't just happen to try the right thing first. Think about what your character would *actually* try if they didn't know what you know.)


Likewise, if another player character learns something via a knowledge check or a side encounter, your character should not be motivated to act based on this knowledge unless that player's character shares that information with yours.


When you ask "why is my character doing/saying this?" if your answer is "because I know X" or even "because of X" where X is something your character doesn't know, then you should probably do something else.

3m. Don't Talk About Information You Know but Shouldn't

Here's one that I'm bad at. If you know about a particular enemy or situation that your character doesn't know about, especially if other players don't know about that thing, don't mention your knowledge. If you tell them about the enemy or situation, you ruin their ability to learn for themselves, and you make them more inclined to roleplay badly. If you talk about knowing something but don't say what it is, then you risk irritating your friends, and you also break some of the realism of the game.


Generally, making a meta recommendation to a player whose character has a knowledge skill that might help them discover information about the enemy or situation is alright, but it may depend on your group and how that suggestion is made.

4. Develop Quirks, Mannerisms, or a "Thing"

It's easier to play your character if there is something unique and recurring about them. This might be a quirk, an accent, something in the manner they speak or walk, or maybe a hobby or obsession. Either way, it should be something that comes up relatively often and which you and your fellow players come to associate with your character. That way, there's a uniqueness to your character which can make them fun to play.


If you're having trouble with this, here are some questions to help you brainstorm:

• Is there anything unique about how my character talks (accent, word choice, etc)?
• Does my character have any physical mannerisms/ticks? (Bonus points if this is something you can actually physically do while seated at the table, as that will help to maintain the realism and sustain the imagination of the rest of the group.)
• Is there any odd object that my character carries with him/her and/or collects?
• Does my character do anything odd in their spare time?

5. Don't Insult Other Players/Player Character/Ideas

It doesn't matter if one of the defining attributes of your character is that they're a jackass, players don't like being put down. If you're roleplaying a jackass, sometimes the players on the receiving end can lose the sense of the line between game and real life, and can feel like you are attacking them personally, rather than your character tearing down their character. So, it may be good roleplaying, but it's bad playing overall. I've had groups where players have left or just felt awful while playing because of tension caused by other players who were just trying to roleplay.


This also goes for ideas proposed by other players. Even if we disagree with a strategy/idea/way of handling a problem or moving forward proposed by another player/player character, it is important that we handle the idea respectfully. If a player feels that you are shutting down their ideas or that you think they are stupid, then it may force them to shut down and be less likely to contribute in the future. This makes the game much less fun to that player, and isn't fair to them. This isn't to say that you should always support everyone's ideas, but if you disagree with them, you should express your disagreements in a friendly, respectful manner, being careful not to attack it or the person offering it.


Roleplaying is a high priority in most groups, but it shouldn't be prioritized above having an environment where people feel safe to share and have a good time.


Likewise, if you choose to roleplay a character who is a jerk, it makes sense for the rest of the group to roleplay people who don't want to hang out with a jerk, and you may lose your place in the group altogether.

6. Don't be a Lone Wolf

I think there's a tendency in some players, myself and some of my regular players included, to play characters who are a bit of a loner. These characters don't like relying on others, and they like going off on their own and doing their own things.


This...isn't the most conducive to a group roleplaying game. Tabletop roleplaying games are generally group activities, so it's important to make a character with that in mind. Even if your group doesn't start as a team together, they are all going to be working together through the duration of your adventure/campaign.


If you're playing a character who likes being on their own/doesn't trust or work well with others/otherwise would resist working with the group, it ends up meaning that either you get left behind-in which case you're no longer playing the game, or that something has to happen to force you to work with them. A lot of times, this is either the other players accepting you into the party despite your actions which would make most people disinterested in your participation, or the GM utilizing some 'hand of God' plot device to keep you all together until you learn to accept them. Both of these are a bit forced, and both of these cause issues with the suspension of disbelief of the group as a whole.


You don't have to play an easygoing extrovert character, but you should play a character who would be inclined to work together with the others in your party.

7. Act and React

Sometimes, games get a bit stagnant. I know that I, as a player, tend to freeze up if I can't think of the "right" thing to do. But, we have to remember that the game may be a game with definable objectives, it may be a story with a linear progression, but it also can be a world (depending on your GM's style) to be explored. Just like in real life, there's not always a "right" thing to do next. Nonetheless, something has got to happen. If your players are just sitting around in safety, it may be up to you to make that happen.


When the game seems stagnant, ask yourself "okay, what would my character do?" See if anything comes to mind. Think about any goals your character has-short or long term. Is there anything you can do to work towards them? Is there anywhere you can go that might provide your character with answers to questions they have? The important thing is to do something. And, when you do, the choices you make bring out more about who your character is and what's important to them.

8. Change and Grow

You aren't the same person you were a year ago. You certainly aren't the same person you were five years ago. The same is true for your character. As they go through different events, they are going to change. How are they affected by getting or failing to get what they want? How do their relationships (friendship, animosity, etc) with other members of the group or other NPCs grow over time? What do they learn from their struggles and adventures? How are they shaped by their victories? How are they shaped by their defeats? Do things that were once important to them become less important? Do other things take the place of that 'important thing?' Does their motivation grow and change with them?

Resources

If you want to read more tips and pieces of advice, check out the following articles.

Geek and Sundry:

5 STEPS TO IMBUE YOUR RPG CHARACTERS WITH PERSONALITY TO SPARE

5 MORE MASTER TIPS TO INFUSE YOUR RPG CHARACTERS WITH PERSONALITY

Look Robot:

11 ways to be a better roleplayer